Fly On The Wall

I had a really awesome, super cool, downright amazing experience the other week. I got to read stage directions for a brand-spanking-new, first time being read aloud, star-studded workshop of a new musical. It was fantastic.  I got to reconnect with a few creative professionals I’ve worked with in the past, and meet new awesome people who are working at one of the highest levels in the industry. I am so grateful to this experience. To be honest, 16-year-old Brock would shit his pants if he realized the awesome stuff he’d be doing at 23.

However, after being a fly on the wall, I want more. Reading stage directions is great from an observational standpoint, but creatively it provide very little juice. And I want to create. I want to act. I want to go for it. I want to make great things and terrible things and awesome boundary-pushing things and indie things and commercial things and beautiful things.

And I had to stop for a second and think…why am I not doing this? Why am I not attempting to do this?

Our old friend and foe, Fear, motherfucking Fear.

I’m doing too much or I’m not doing enough or I’m too eager or I don’t want it enough or they can sense I’m too desperate. I’m not writing enough. I’m not acting enough. I’m not auditioning enough. I’m not meeting new people enough.

You are enough. You are where you’re supposed to be. So create something, and share it with someone. That’s all you can do. One motherfucking thing.

“Don’t lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don’t have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write. Keep writing and quit your bitching. Your book has a birthday. You don’t know what it is yet.” – Cheryl Strayed.

That’s one of my favorite quotes. Live it. Love it. Chill the fuck out (that’s most to myself, not you). Enjoy your life. Don’t overthink it. Greatness will come when it’s supposed to. Just be ready for it.

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